Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Jack's Journey Through The Junior Year

BY: Jack Tagliamonte


Everybody get up, it's time to see the truth. Michael Jordan, I know you actually did go against the aliens and possibly even scientific experience. How I can prove this I can hear you whisper, video evidence. In the 1996 hit movie starring Michael Jordan, Wayne Knight, and Bugs Bunny proves that Michael Jordan was kidnapped by the Looney Tunes and asked to play basketball to save their freedom, which is already a spooky premise, but what makes it scarier is the fact that Danny Devito is the main bad guy alien. Now I know what you're thinking, "But Jack doesn't that mean that it isn't real?" No, it doesn't, they killed the alien, Swackhammer, at the end, they used Danny's voice to fill in because they couldn't actually use him in the movie ya know?


Michael, if this was court you wouldn't even have a comeback to this,video evidence is pretty tough to contest, especially when your name is all over it. Now there's one thing that can completely debunk this whole theory, the Monstars stole Charles Barkley's, Shawn Bradley's, Patrick Ewing's, Larry Johnson's, Muggsy Boques' basketball skills, leaving them absolutely trasheroni on the court. There's no way they lost their skill and you're right, they're beasts, so I guess I was wrong.


Whoops.

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